Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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