I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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