Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
