super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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