...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
