So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
