Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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