Pappa wants mamma naked
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize