But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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