careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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