I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
