Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
