An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
ok first of all what the fuck
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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