Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
