I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
