It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
