And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
