i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
