he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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