you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
