let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
