she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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