I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
