They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
