yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
