Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
