I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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