I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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