sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize