So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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