Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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