I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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