you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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