Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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