escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
