WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
