I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
