i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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