How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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