i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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