Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
