Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
