His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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