dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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