I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
