Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
