Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
