I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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