We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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