I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
