Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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