I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
