Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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