i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
