Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
