dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
