He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
