Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
