We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
