I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
