Screwed.edu
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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