Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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