ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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